DTE Month 2: Rollercoaster Emotions

Sometimes, in adoption, you just need a good cry. It seems lately all I have been doing that frequently occasionally. As we hit our DTE Month 2 I find my anxiety level rising. I don't know how many times I have read, adoption is not for the faint of heart, and let me just tell you, they are right! (Then because I am a woman I get into this bad cycle of feeling sad but then feeling guilty because we already have three amazing children and we are only in the official two months of waiting where some families have been waiting 18 months or even tried for years and now adopting so I yell at my brain - Put on your big girl panties and suck it up!)

I think one of the coolest and yet most stressful part of this journey is our variety in age range and child. Because we are open to one or two and up to 10 it could be Monday that we get our referral call or it could be a day 18 months from now.....anyone noticed I am kinda a control freak dedicated planner, if not please refer to my vacation itinerary for disney where I had us scheduled down to the hour for an entire week. So yes, this is hard for me. I know that God has called us to open up to this large of a range I know we are doing the right thing, but it it is still hard and we may have a long road ahead of us. What I do know is that God is there to hold my hand through this I we have many a good friend and family to support us as well.  

What has by far been one of the most amazing things to watch is the last groups of missionaries for Visiting Orphans work in Ethiopia (which I have the awesome pleasure of calling some of the team members my friends). To hear the testimonies of what happened and witness the pictures- Oh my! And now in our agency, this month has been really active with all kinds of different referrals. So exciting for these forever families. I am so thankful that my eyes were opened back up and so was my heart to missions and the world outside of America.

So in this journey, please be patient with us, as you wonder why I may be really somewhat moody or wiping away tears in my eyes,

          Remember somewhere in my heart a child is growing....