I have always tried to keep this blog honest while at the same time respecting our sons privacy. These first few days together have been filled with wonderful sweet moments, first discoveries along with grief, confusion and testing boundaries. Our son has lost a lot in his life and so my goal for this time in Ethiopia was to aide the bonding process, build up language skills and experience Ethiopia together before he leaves for America.
I can not say that these first few days have not been without tears for both of us. I love N with my whole heart and am so thankful for him and blessed that God choose me to be his heart mom. Some days I am overwhelmed with not the behaviors that I see but more in the knowledge of why and how those came to be. We have a ways to go with food but each day N is learning that We will always be able to feed him and he will not ever have to starve. We are also learning what the word No is and slowly excepting its meaning. Each day I continue to build trust with him that I can meet his needs and keep him safe and loved. I treasure the sweet moments we have each morning when he crawls in my bed, holds my face and says "My mom, I love you. You are my mom". Yes, N, I am your mommy and I will always love you.
But with that, I realize, my love is not always enough. Another adoptive mom wrote today how our love is wonderful but it is nothing compared to the love our God give us and our children. My love is not sufficient and will not carry us though but HIS love does and that same love that died on a cross can also fill both our weary heart each and every day.
This adoption journey has shown me the inhuman ability it takes to complete this journey and only God can provide that strength and integrity and love that is needed.
And with that, I leave you with a sweet photo of my human love for this amazing kid!
I can not say that these first few days have not been without tears for both of us. I love N with my whole heart and am so thankful for him and blessed that God choose me to be his heart mom. Some days I am overwhelmed with not the behaviors that I see but more in the knowledge of why and how those came to be. We have a ways to go with food but each day N is learning that We will always be able to feed him and he will not ever have to starve. We are also learning what the word No is and slowly excepting its meaning. Each day I continue to build trust with him that I can meet his needs and keep him safe and loved. I treasure the sweet moments we have each morning when he crawls in my bed, holds my face and says "My mom, I love you. You are my mom". Yes, N, I am your mommy and I will always love you.
But with that, I realize, my love is not always enough. Another adoptive mom wrote today how our love is wonderful but it is nothing compared to the love our God give us and our children. My love is not sufficient and will not carry us though but HIS love does and that same love that died on a cross can also fill both our weary heart each and every day.
This adoption journey has shown me the inhuman ability it takes to complete this journey and only God can provide that strength and integrity and love that is needed.
And with that, I leave you with a sweet photo of my human love for this amazing kid!
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