Life takes it's toll on Marriage

I am an avid subscriber to #staymarried and love the posts of hope, stories and resources for couples to stay married. A few weeks ago it was on understanding your spouse as time goes on. I love how they wrote in relation to time and our spouses: "...What you may not realize is that they have changed. They’ve grown, just like you have, and they have new thoughts and interests..."

In our own personal marriage life has certainly taken its toll. One of the aspects not always talked about when you add a child to your family is the change and energy that it will take for your marriage. So much energy is now going from the marriage to the relationships of your children and the bonding that needs to happen in the new family.
 

One of the main focuses my hubby and I have always placed is the time together. Because we are a blended family, we have never had a time that we have not been parents. We missed the time that couples have to learn and discover who they are as a couple, instead we discovered who we were as a family. I love our big family and that we were able to jump in head first into being a family. However, I also realize that in about 12 years, Gene and I will be empty nesters! I will be barely over 45 and have all of my children graduates from high school. That means both Gene and I will have another (hopefully) 40 years or so together. 

That is why it is so very important that Gene and I have a healthy marriage now so that we WANT to look at each other for the next 40 years! I also want to model to our children what a healthy marriage is. I want them to know that their parents love each other dearly and look for that same type of marriage when they grow up.

But, life has taken it's toll and we have not put in the time and energy into our relationship. With the new stressors of life these days, we were not reconnecting. To be perfect honest, our marriage was lacking big time. WE forgot how to communicate with one another, and I forgot how to love my husband. I was a bitter wife and struggled to show kindness and respect to Gene.


We knew we needed to be different and so we chose to take a break from our world here and take 6 days to rekindle our marriage, to dedicate time to learning and spending time together and to make a plan for our future. It was the best decision and we learned so much about each other again. Was it a life changer? No, but it was a time where we saw one another as partners and as equals, doing this thing called LIFE together.

I challenge you, take a break from the monotony of life and get to re-learn your spouse again. Take an hour or take a week and find each other again. Remember why you married them in the first place and why you choose them!