55 days of John

Truth-I am not a bible reader. I'm not. One of my goals each year is to read passages from my bible every day and yet every day... I don't.   I read my face book and I read my texts, I read my e-mails and I read my TV guide, but not my bible.

55 days ago, after an inspiring and moving weekend with some lovely ladies at my IF:Local event I choose to follow along with IF:Equip. This was my first time reading through the entire book of John and I learned so much about Jesus and about myself.

If I had to break it down, I would in two simple truths. {warning-I may use a lot of shouty caps-yes, shouty caps people, I was really feeling it!}



 Through out the book of John and the collection of author lead discussion I saw this beautiful tapestry of history woven through out this book. There is this fulfillment of prophecy that I found chapter after chapter. It was fortold that Jesus would come, that John would be there to baptize him. That he would be loved by men and scorn by men. The real penetrating truth is that BECAUSE Jesus is who he says he is, he KNEW. He knew what was to happen and what he was to go through.  He knew which disciple would give him over and who would deny him. Yet, he loved them, he forgave them and he died for them. If so then what does that say about how he loves me?

I think the whole idea of redemption really hit home with me.  I was able to see Jesus as a real person living a real life through the book of John. I read the words that he spoke and imagined the images that must have surrounded him. I was able to focus on key areas and really appreciate the depth of what was written. I am not a bible scholar and so the added commentary of the speakers from IF:Gathering was so key to me. I was able to get a deeper understanding of the verses and then read other womens comments on those same verses.

The second simple truth is this: Jesus says- FOLLOW ME



He does say -If you read your bible every day or if you have it all together. He doesn't make it a caveat to join him ONLY if you do this or that.   We are are mess. We are sinful and broken and pitiful....but he still chooses US!!! He wants us to FOLLOW HIM! This last part of John hit it on the head for me. Jesus is talking to the disciples and one of them asks him about someone else. He says, don't focus on what others are doing, FOCUS ON ME!

I often times get so stuck in the comparison trap the "I'm not good enough" trap. When I do that I'm actually killing grace.  I am taking away the fact that Jesus died for my sins because I'm saying, "I know you did that, but I'm still not good enough because....(fill in with any mantra you tell yourself)

 Well, its not about me! Its about what HE did. What HE did on that cross and what HE did for the world. News flash- I'm never going to be good enough. I can never compare because there is no comparison. I have to stop looking at others and instead seeing what HE says about me. And this can only be done by...you guest it...reading his word and FOLLOWING HIM.

I may just become a bit of a daily bible reader after all.
    So join me!
         Let's do this thing together.
                     Help me to not look to others and to not define myself by the World,
                          but by who he says I am.



Ready to do this thing?    Here it is Monday May 5th....   IF: Equip


    -Amanda
 

7...again....my own personal journal

About a year ago this time I had some awesome women in my life who were going through the 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess study by Jen Hatmaker.  You all know I love me some Hatmaker so I jumped on the band wagon and tried to do it with them. Well, about week #5 I was an emotional wreck. We were preparing and waiting for our court date for N's adoption and I just couldn't deal with all the internal struggle. I gave up and put it back on the shelf. 
                                                                                  
 Fast forward a year, and here I am joining the same dang band wagon, getting ready to wreck myself again. Why do I do this you ask- well, other than my need to be part of the group, you just gotta love growth! I want to eliminate things from my life that get in the way of loving my family and loving others. I want to be a better person and I want to know my God more. For those of you that don't know what the heck seven is, sit and read this section if you do-go ahead and scroll on down to week 2!

Jen Hatmaker decided her life was too full of "stuff" and decided to take seven months to eliminate 7  things from her life where she found were struggles for her family and probably for yours too!  Each month she chose an area to reduced down to the basics-7 foods, 7 articles of clothing. She gave away possessions and instead focus on simplicity and generosity while using that cleansing to grow closer to God. The book follows her journey to fight back the modern greed and materialize of America today. From there she created a 7 week bible study leads you through the key areas she identified on your own journey to fight the excess. The first week is on food and I kinda missed that one already, so I am on to week two. I hope that I can blog about each week for these 7 weeks, share what I am learning and encourage you to fight back as well!

Week 2: Clothing

Now, if you all know me, you know that I am a bit of a modifier-rebel-rule bender kinda girl. I'm sorry, God just made me want to rebel!  Following a set plan is hard for me (hence my tendency for yo-yo dieting) . So for some accountability, here is my wardrobe from now until Tuesday:

                                1. Pair of black dress pants
                                2. White T-shirt
                                   ( & Cami- still keep it covered ladies!)
                                3. Black leggings
                                    (they make look like tights but they really 
                                    are leggings-you can hash out the "are 
                                    leggings pants" debate on your own blog)
                               4. Flowy grey dress shirt
                               5. Grey professor style sweater
                               6. Pair of skinny jeans
                               7. Orange Ethiopia mission trip shirt 
                                     (I realized all I had was black and white!)

                    Insert disclaimer- here is my rule breaker part!
                                Yes-you see #8 

                               8. Only Noonday Accessories

   Soooo...I am a Noonday Collection Ambassador and therefore feel I can not go a week with out wearing my hand made pretties made by artisans around the world. Well, this week coincided       with the launch of our new Impact Tab. So, I decided to only wear one countries accessories each day. Every day I will represent a different country (even if I only have one piece) and then  share a photo and a link about those artisans and the work they do on my Instagram.

 

Wish me luck and I will update this page at the end of the week

with what I have learned about  myself !

             -Amanda

Fashionable

"Fashion is not something that exists in dressed only. Fashion is in the sky,in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening"    -CoCo Chanel

Fashion- it can dictate what we where and where we wear it too. I wonder often how much accountability we have with out clothes. Do we have the ability to wear what we want as long as we can afford it and it meets the "fashion standards"? What if all the "fashionable" clothes that make us feel beautiful are made in the most worst way? Can we wear them still? 

Tomorrow-Thursday April 24th- is the first ever Fashion Revolution Day. This coincides with the one year anniversary of the tragic Rana Plaza clothing factory collapse in Dhaka, Bangladesh, when 1133 people were killed and 2500 were injured.Many of these deaths occurred because of poor working conditions for workers whom were already paid poorly for their work. 

Image Credit: rijans via Flickr

 Pope Francis spoke out against the working conditions in the factory: 

 "A headline that really struck me on the day of the tragedy in Bangladesh was 'Living on 38 euros a month'. That is what the people who died were being paid. This is called slave labor. Today in the world this slavery is being committed against something beautiful that God has given us – the capacity to create, to work, to have dignity. ."

Fashion Revolution Day will hopefully start making people question where their clothes are made. To encourage others to initiative the conversation about ethical trade and open our eyes to the world around us. The Rana Plaza Collapse is just one small example of the issues surrounding the clothing industry.

We can no longer be just blind consumers. Trust me, I am just as guilty as the next person for buying items made under these labor conditions and with little dignified income. I thought I was being a good steward with my money.  Justifying buying cheaper clothes so that we could stick to our budget more and then be able to give more freely and save more towards our adoption costs, fighting the "Orphan Crisis". But in the end I was just contributing to is!!!

http://fashionrevolution.org/

 The topic of fair trade is still fairly new to me. So, I have a lovely fellow Noonday Collection Ambassador that is going to be blogging tomorrow on this very topic. I just recently discovered their blog and all I can say is- I'm in Love! I will definitely be adding their blog to my collection of must reads! 

  I can't wait for you to jump over and check out her blog at: 
                Shannon and Brandi: Fair Trade Fashionista


  -Blessings, 

      Amanda 

'Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening.' - Coco Chanel
Read more at http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/blogs/542820/the-40-best-style-quotes-of-all-time.html#LsaGxYw8TQY1IqLe.99

'Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening.' - Coco Chanel

Read more at http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/blogs/542820/the-40-best-style-quotes-of-all-time.html#LsaGxYw8TQY1IqLe.99

Life takes it's toll on Marriage

I am an avid subscriber to #staymarried and love the posts of hope, stories and resources for couples to stay married. A few weeks ago it was on understanding your spouse as time goes on. I love how they wrote in relation to time and our spouses: "...What you may not realize is that they have changed. They’ve grown, just like you have, and they have new thoughts and interests..."

In our own personal marriage life has certainly taken its toll. One of the aspects not always talked about when you add a child to your family is the change and energy that it will take for your marriage. So much energy is now going from the marriage to the relationships of your children and the bonding that needs to happen in the new family.
 

One of the main focuses my hubby and I have always placed is the time together. Because we are a blended family, we have never had a time that we have not been parents. We missed the time that couples have to learn and discover who they are as a couple, instead we discovered who we were as a family. I love our big family and that we were able to jump in head first into being a family. However, I also realize that in about 12 years, Gene and I will be empty nesters! I will be barely over 45 and have all of my children graduates from high school. That means both Gene and I will have another (hopefully) 40 years or so together. 

That is why it is so very important that Gene and I have a healthy marriage now so that we WANT to look at each other for the next 40 years! I also want to model to our children what a healthy marriage is. I want them to know that their parents love each other dearly and look for that same type of marriage when they grow up.

But, life has taken it's toll and we have not put in the time and energy into our relationship. With the new stressors of life these days, we were not reconnecting. To be perfect honest, our marriage was lacking big time. WE forgot how to communicate with one another, and I forgot how to love my husband. I was a bitter wife and struggled to show kindness and respect to Gene.


We knew we needed to be different and so we chose to take a break from our world here and take 6 days to rekindle our marriage, to dedicate time to learning and spending time together and to make a plan for our future. It was the best decision and we learned so much about each other again. Was it a life changer? No, but it was a time where we saw one another as partners and as equals, doing this thing called LIFE together.

I challenge you, take a break from the monotony of life and get to re-learn your spouse again. Take an hour or take a week and find each other again. Remember why you married them in the first place and why you choose them!

iF:Gathering in Lebanon

Today I am going to gather with women from out my community to think over the question If God is real, then what? 

This event is taking place in Austin, Texas and we are participating in the simulcast here at First Baptist Church.  I am excited and nervous and anxious and seeking all at the same time. I know this weekend is going to be a time of reflection and vulnerability. Shedding off my outward appearance and working on who I am as a daughter of Christ. Joining with ladies in the raw and brokenness of our lives. We each have things we deal with, things we hide and things we struggle with that only HIS grace can change. 

"We exist to gather, equp and unleash the next generation of women to live out their purpose"

      -Jennie Allen. 

So why am I doing this? 

      For one because I am a doer. I have a natural flaw for overworking and over committing myself but in that I find solace. I am a continual grower and some of the women speakers have been a vital role in that process. Two, I am seeking answers. God moved big in my life and know I am searching and praying for what those next steps are going to look like and I hope this conference will help me with some of that. Three...because I love my fellow women and I want them to experience this growth and transformation too. 

How is this going to work? 

     We are meeting at First Baptist Church today at 4pm and going to join together to watch the simulcast. We will break for dinner and conversation around 6:30 (or whenever our stomachs start to growl) and will then join back into the simulcast until we call it quits. 

Then we will meet again Saturday at 9am, break for a lunch around town about noon and then rejoin for the afternoon sessions until about 4/5. 

 Will all the technology work together-who knows! I hope so and I am praying for it, but ultimatly it's up to him and our Internet connection! 

How do you prepare? 

   Pray, humble yourself and be prepared to be real, authentic time together. Each women is bringing a soup or a snack on Friday. Make sure you bring a bible, some type of item to journal with and wear your yoga pants as we prepare to lay it all out there! 

I am going to be utilizing #ifgathering to share our weekend and I hope you join us too or find a if:gathering near you! 

     -Amanda 

Siblings

I am an only child. My idea of siblings came from idolizing my cousins when we were all playing together and watching TV shows like Little House in the Prairie and Full House. I thought for sure that if I had a little sister I would have taken care of her just like DJ did with Michelle and we would have had matching outfits {complete with awesome hair bows}and tea parties together. This reality quickly was dashed when Gene and I were married and became a blended family and both J and S would play the "She's touching me"..."No, I'm Not"; "Shes looking at me"...."No, I'm Not" game {you know this game too???} But that was short lived and now these two are like two peas in a pod. Seriously, they are each-others best friends.

Fourth of July 2004...what cuties!

Showing off their matching blue Niagara Falls Jackets! 

 Well, I sometimes wonder if N had the same dream like thoughts about siblings as I did. You see, N came into our family being an only child. He does not have any siblings but what he did have was 20 and then later 50+ children twenty four hours a day, seven days a week surrounding him in the orphanages.  He knew how to interact with others but he had no idea how to be a sibling. Life in an orphanage had taught N to rely on himself and to fight for his needs to be met.I don't know if he wanted to have brothers and sisters or what his idea of them was. {Maybe he too wanted a sister like DJ too}

(This should have been our first sign) 

What that did mean though is that he came to our home ready to fight for anything and everything. He did not understand what sharing was. Because he had not had any toys he wanted everything. He is really into fairness and equality. Our youngest daughter K is seven years younger than the older two. She too had not really had to share all that much and was use to having all the toys to herself as she has gotten older. This made life very hard in the beginning. N's natural instinct was to grab anything he wanted because he may never get the chance again. That meant, even if it was a bubble gum wrapper, he wanted it and he wanted it then. If someone got in his way, so sorry for them. We had lots of tears and frustration on both the Little's parts as far as sharing and taking turns. But slowly, we are making strides. We role played and prompted over and over and used the same statements time and time again to help the kids adjust. We used timers and practiced constantly. If they threw a fit, we would re-do and try it again. This was not with out tears and yelling {many times on my part} but, we started to see a change.

Our first short and sweet few minutes of dreamlike introduction...

 Are we there yet, looking like a modern Little House on the Prairie? Absolutely not- we still have arguments and are using that consequences jar I told you about in the last post- thank you Courtney!  But, we are getting there. Now N and K can play outside together with out me having to intervene and regulate. They can build a tower of Lego's together and are even starting to read books together! In fact, they get along so well sometimes they have started pulling one-overs on us. I foresee some mischievous years ahead!  

{Insert amazing sibling pictures I have taken the past 4 months that

 disappeared with my phone-alas, these will have to do... }

Did we fall of the end of the Earth?

 I realize that I have not blogged in well over a month, several of my most recent blog posts have been about faith/poverty/Noonday, so that means you all are probably ready for a little family update.I have to cut myself a little slack, we are a family of six with two full time working parents [we are insane] that have two busy teenagers and two cuddly little kids...oh, and a dog and 4 chickens...cant forget the chickens {again-we are insane] But I digress.....


Well,  It has been 5 months since this day...

Wow- to watch that again. Remembering how scary and exciting it was for him all at once. It feels like it took us forever to get here and yet other days I think we just brought N home. I seriously can not believe the progress we have made in such short time. In the beginning the days were so very hard and he was grieving so much, but now with the ability to talk and communicate he is able to share so much more with us. Now, we still have age appropriate temper tantrums and pouting but afterwards he apologizes and we move on. Gone (hopefully for good) are the days of "No white mom", "No America" and "Diaper Donkey" - although for the record diaper donkey is going in the life book!

Its the little moments where he can now share memories and thoughts and perceptions with his new found language ability. Sometimes the statements he makes are so profound I am just amazed at our little man's understanding of the world and his ability to see things. Yesterday as he was eating his new found favorite snack (Hawaiian King bread with berbere spread on it) he told me:

        "Mom- I love America food. In Ethiopia me so hungry, no dis (points to fridge)
           or dis (point to stove) or dis mom (points to microwave). Mom- we no dis either
           (the pantry). Just little food mom [in Ethiopia], now me get food anytime I hungry. I love you
            Mom. You so good. Mmmmm"

I mustache you a question! 

When your a mom of a child from a hard place and things are going well, it can be so very hard to remember where they come from and who they were. He is still the same boy with the beautiful smile and the mischievous personality but he is beginning to feel safe and loved and at home which makes this woman one happy mommy.

This month I think we finally started really learning how to just breathe. No longer are we in survival mode or even really exhaustion We are a family and we work together. Life is doable now and the hubbs and I don't feel {as} overwhelmed most days. Hopefully I will do better at keeping our blog updated and sharing some of these "firsts" with you. Until them, from our family to yours...Happy New Year {23 days late but who's counting!}

(our posed picture and the only one where all four kids are smiling and have eyes open). 

Were sisters....[insert lyrics from White Christmas]

Amazed every day at the bond of these brothers!

My two high energy kids here...playtime buddies!